January 23, 2014
It’s been a while since I’ve posted and now that I am going back to work after the privilege of having my second child in 2 years, I thought there was nothing more appropriate than starting where I left off and linking to this article. None of us are happy all the time, of course, but this article gives really helpful ideas about how to appreciate and increase the happiness we have.
July 12, 2010
Sonja Lyubomirsky from the University of California has done some interesting research comparing people who describe themselves as happy or unhappy. She found that 40 per cent of our happiness is within our power to change! Lyubomirsky identified 12 scientifically robust ways in which we act and think that naturally enhance happiness.
1) Express gratitude.
2) Cultivate optimism: Lyubomirsky suggests imagining a future in which everything has turned out the way you want it and to write it down.
3) Avoid obsessing over things or paying too much attention to what others are doing.
4) Practise acts of kindness – more than you’re used to.
5) Make time for friends; be supportive and loyal.
6) Develop coping strategies: Lyubomirsky suggests writing down upsetting feelings and trying to see that traumatic events often make us stronger. If it is difficult to develop coping strategies alone seek some professional guidance.
7) Learn to forgive.
8) Immerse yourself in activities and be open to new ones.
9) Savour life’s pleasures: Lyubomirsky gives the example of lingering over something you enjoy to eat rather than mindlessly consuming it.
10) Work towards meaningful goals.
11) Practise religion or spirituality.
12) Exercise.
Of course not every one of these suggestions suits everybody and none of them produce immediate results, but the research does show that by pursuing these things happiness is likely to increase.
April 21, 2010
When we think forward or look back, we often reflect on how happiness fits into our lives. The pursuit of happiness is one of the most common goals of new psychotherapy clients. “I just want to be happy” is a well-heard phrase. So how can we be happier? What does the research say?
Hannah Booth, of the Sydney Morning Herald, summarises a number of interesting research findings…
1) Think positively
Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina found that thinking positively has a positive effect on the body as well as the mind. Her research showed that positivity decreased blood pressure, pain and susceptibility to colds and increased sleep. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, for example, highlights techniques that aim to lift mood by counteracting unhelpful thinking, such as over-generalisation and taking things personally.
2) Do
Daniel Gilbert from Harvard University explains why doing is better than not doing. Studies show that people tend to regret not having done things much more than they regret things they have done. This is perhaps because it is easier to accept doing something we regret, as we consider ourselves active and courageous. We can console our regret by thinking about what we have learned from the experience.
3) Meditate
Daniel Goleman, Psychologist and author advocates the benefit of meditation. He writes: “Meditation helps us better manage our reactions to stress and recover more quickly from disturbing events. This is key to happiness.” Goleman cites a study where workers in stressful jobs practiced mediation for eight weeks. After just two months they felt happier and reported they liked their work more. One way to consider happiness is the ability to recover quickly from upset. Goleman advises that when we start to get upset, let go of the negative thought, deal with the problem and then let go of that too.
4) Be kind
Paul Gilbert, from the University of Derby, UK, highlights how important it is that we relate to ourselves with kindness. When we are self-critical we damage our wellbeing, contentedness and ability to cope.
5) Find meaning
Jonathan Haidt, a Psychologist at the University of Virginia, emphasises the amount of time we spend doing things that give us personal meaning and a sense of connection. He cites quality time with loved ones, holidays and other enjoyable activities. Becoming involved with something you believe in, such as religion, politics or teaching or doing something creative are also good examples.
February 11, 2010
One of the most frequently asked questions about therapy is whether it is worth the expense? Certainly beginning a course of therapy is a financial commitment and of course we want to know if it is likely to ‘pay off’.
November 18, 2009
There are lots of ways in which we can encourage our sense of wellness.
Try to limit alcohol, high-caffeine and sugary drinks.
4) Be social
Being in touch with family and friends, whether it is in person, by phone or online, is important for making us feel grounded and supported. If life circumstances make it difficult to be in touch with others, then try to become involved with a group or a hobby.
5) Take care
Actually taking care of others helps us take care of ourselves. Helping a friend, looking after a pet or doing volunteer work can help boost self-esteem and a sense of well-being.
6) Time out
We all need a break now and again. Whether it’s a 5 minute pause during the day, a long lunch or a holiday, it is vital to relax and replenish. Yoga and meditation are also excellent ways of helping the body and mind relax and of course it is essential to get a good night’s sleep.
7) Do what you like
Spend time investing in something that you enjoy. Hobbies and activities make us feel good about ourselves, de-stress and express ourselves – particularly physical or creative activities.
8 ) I am who I am
Everyone is different. It’s much healthier to accept that you are unique than to wish you were more like someone else. Be proud of who you are. If there are things that you would like to change check out if your expectations are realistic and if they are, work towards change in small steps.
9) Ask for help
Sometimes it’s simply all a bit much. At these times it is essential to seek help from family, friends or professional services.
September 30, 2009
A few weeks ago I found out that it was 80% likely I had caught swine flu. Interestingly, despite all I had heard, it wasn’t all that bad: a headache, sore joints and muscles and of course the well-publicised high temperature. In fact, it was so much less dramatic than I had anticipated, I had apparently contracted it at least eight days prior to diagnosis.
September 14, 2009
The chagim can be a wonderful break from routine; an opportunity to spend time with family, eat good food, take a look back at the year gone past and look forward to the year to come.
Of course, it is not always and for everyone the celebratory experience we would hope for. Dr Darnel, a Psychiatrist at the Asaf Harofeh hospital, comments on the many families in Israel who find the chagim particularly difficult. In addition to the stress and balagan of preparation and entertaining and the sometimes overwhelming combination of personalities at the dinner table, for families who have experienced difficulties, the chagim can be extremely challenging. How do you react to your recently divorced cousin? Do you sit in the empty chair of your lost family member? Do you ask your long-term looking-for-work brother-in-law if he has any leads? How do you cope with the difficulties you experience with your family in this concentrated environment?
Dr Darnel writes that it is important in these situations we remember that such intense family get-togethers are rare and temporary. He encourages the reader to come to the chag with empathy, respect and patience and, very importantly, to think before speaking.
But what about those without family in Israel? Chagim can be an especially difficult time for olim and other foreigners living here. Even if family occasions weren’t always perfect back home, suddenly being far away from them and with new traditions and new ways of doing things, they can seem very nostalgic or ‘right’. A chag can become a very lonely time, particularly when you look around and everyone else seems so busy and happy.
If the chagim are tough for you there are a few things that may help. Firstly, try not to be alone as much as possible. Take advantage of the famous Israeli hospitality and if you have been offered a dinner invitation, try to accept. If this is not an option, you could try to arrange to be with other people who are alone for chag, perhaps seeing friends who are olim chadashim, or going to something organised for the community through one of the olim organisations or religious groups.
It is important to make sure you have plans, even if they are simply to finish that book you keep meaning to, and to be in touch with those that you miss. If you find yourself extremely upset over the chagim and you become concerned about yourself, then give Eran (the hotline for emotional support) a call.
However you spend your chag I hope it is a chag sameach and a shana tova!
September 10, 2009
New research from Tel Aviv University by Yoram Barak claims that we may one day be able to find the genetic component of happiness, which may be up to 50% responsible for an optimistic outlook. The researchers are excited that we may potentially be able to manipulate systems and increase levels of happiness.
Clearly, such a scenario sounds very appealing, but Katie Gilbert asks some thought-provoking questions… Is the genetic theory of happiness sophisticated or reductive? What kind of happiness are we looking for and who decides what happiness is? “Potent and staccato or diluted and sustained? Reality-enhancing or distorting? Self-aggrandizing or humbling?” Furthermore, “how do we account for the way happiness matures and transforms and takes on new definitions over a lifetime?”
Certainly Barak’s research is exciting and fascinating, but at the same time, as with any genetic research, voices such as Gilbert’s are essential to open up our discussions and consider the implications of manipulating our genes.
August 17, 2009
: ) : ( : o
(^_^) (T_T) (*_*)
Dr. Lisa Law, ClinPsyD 
