Dr. Lisa Law, ClinPsyD

Things that make us happy

Dr. Lisa Law — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 13:50:40 +0000

Sonja Lyubomirsky from the University of California has done some interesting research comparing people who describe themselves as happy or unhappy. She found that 40 per cent of our happiness is within our power to change! Lyubomirsky identified 12 scientifically robust ways in which we act and think that naturally enhance happiness.

1) Express gratitude.

2) Cultivate optimism: Lyubomirsky suggests imagining a future in which everything has turned out the way you want it and to write it down.

3) Avoid obsessing over things or paying too much attention to what others are doing.

4) Practise acts of kindness – more than you’re used to.

5) Make time for friends; be supportive and loyal.

6) Develop coping strategies: Lyubomirsky suggests writing down upsetting feelings and trying to see that traumatic events often make us stronger. If it is difficult to develop coping strategies alone seek some professional guidance.

7) Learn to forgive.

8) Immerse yourself in activities and be open to new ones.

9) Savour life’s pleasures: Lyubomirsky gives the example of lingering over something you enjoy to eat rather than mindlessly consuming it.

10) Work towards meaningful goals.

11) Practise religion or spirituality.

12) Exercise.

Of course not every one of these suggestions suits everybody and none of them produce immediate results, but the research does show that by pursuing these things happiness is likely to increase.

How can I be happier?

Dr. Lisa Law — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 09:39:32 +0000

When we think forward or look back, we often reflect on how happiness fits into our lives. The pursuit of happiness is one of the most common goals of new psychotherapy clients. ”I just want to be happy” is a well-heard phrase. So how can we be happier? What does the research say?

Hannah Booth, of the Sydney Morning Herald, summarises a number of interesting research findings…

1) Think positively

Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina found that thinking positively has a positive effect on the body as well as the mind. Her research showed that positivity decreased blood pressure, pain and susceptibility to colds and increased sleep. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, for example, highlights techniques that aim to lift mood by counteracting unhelpful thinking, such as over-generalisation and taking things personally.

2) Do

Daniel Gilbert from Harvard University explains why doing is better than not doing. Studies show that people tend to regret not having done things much more than they regret things they have done. This is perhaps because it is easier to accept doing something we regret, as we consider ourselves active and courageous. We can console our regret by thinking about what we have learned from the experience.

3) Meditate

Daniel Goleman, Psychologist and author advocates the benefit of meditation. He writes: “Meditation helps us better manage our reactions to stress and recover more quickly from disturbing events. This is key to happiness.” Goleman cites a study where workers in stressful jobs practiced mediation for eight weeks. After just two months they felt happier and reported they liked their work more. One way to consider happiness is the ability to recover quickly from upset. Goleman advises that when we start to get upset, let go of the negative thought, deal with the problem and then let go of that too.

4) Be kind

Paul Gilbert, from the University of Derby, UK, highlights how important it is that we relate to ourselves with kindness. When we are self-critical we damage our wellbeing, contentedness and ability to cope.

5) Find meaning

Jonathan Haidt, a Psychologist at the University of Virginia, emphasises the amount of time we spend doing things that give us personal meaning and a sense of connection. He cites quality time with loved ones, holidays and other enjoyable activities. Becoming involved with something you believe in, such as religion, politics or teaching or doing something creative are also good examples.

The marshmallow experiment

Dr. Lisa Law — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 09:13:32 +0000

What happens if you ask a child to delay gratification? Take a look at this video…

Joachim De Posada gives a very interesting interpretation of the marshmallow experiment. Could this be the exlpanation of success?

Critical research

Dr. Lisa Law — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 07:20:59 +0000

Research, no matter from which discipline, provides us with rich data to help us develop our understandings about the world we live in, the way we live, our own selves and so on. Humans are often described as natural scientists, that is, from the moment we are born we are curious and we yearn for knowledge and understanding.

There are many theories about knowledge, as the philosophy of epistemology explores. Epistemology wonders: ‘how do we know what we know’ or perhaps even: ‘how do we know what we think we know?’ Some theories of knowledge, such as those from the natural sciences, assume that there is always a truth ‘out there’ to be discovered and as long as we have access to the appropriate tools we can discover it. Other theories, such as the theory of social constructionism, view the world as a collection of negotiated understandings created via culture and language; that there is no one real truth to be discoverd; we simply reach agreements about things we decide to name truths.

In western society we are educated to particularly value scientific knowledge and to pursue objective facts through quantitative research. We are most often convinced by statistics and scientific fact. However, whilst enjoying the fruits of research and valuing academic endeavour, it is vital that, in the spirit of academic rigour, we always retain a critical stance towards our pursuit for knowledge.

For example, in an analysis of American Psychological Association (APA) research journals between 2003 and 2007, it was found that 68% of psychological research participants were from the US and 96% were from Western industrialised countries, mainly North America, Europe, Australia, and Israel (Arnett, 2008). This means that 96% of psychological samples came from countries with only 12% of the world’s population. Arnett raises concern that “the result is an understanding of psychology that is incomplete and does not adequately represent humanity… the majority of the world’s population lives in conditions vastly different from the conditions of Americans [who are the vast majority of psychological research participants].”

A philosophy of science that emphasises fundamental processes and does not give significant weight to cultural context would not find this state of affairs troublesome. However, I believe it does raise the question: how culturally valid is our research in Psychology? That is, are we taking enough care to ensure that we are realistic about the generalisability and validity of our research findings?

Is therapy worth it?

Dr. Lisa Law — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:21:26 +0000

One of the most frequently asked questions about therapy is whether it is worth the expense? Certainly beginning a course of therapy is a financial commitment and of course we want to know if it is likely to ‘pay off’.

A study by Chris Boyce at the University of Warwick, England reported by the Bet Israel Deconess Medical Center, has found some interesting results. By examining data from thousands of people who had provided information about their mental well-being, it was found that the increase in happiness from a $1,329 course of therapy was so significant that it would take a pay raise of more than $41,542 to achieve an equal boost in well-being. This means that therapy could be perhaps as much as 32 times more cost-effective at improving well-being than receiving money.

Boyce explains that “often the importance of money for improving our well-being and bringing greater happiness is vastly over-valued in our societies. The benefits of having good mental health, on the other hand, are often not fully appreciated and people do not realize the powerful effect that psychological therapy, such as non-directive counseling, can have on improving our well-being.”

‘An Autobiography’

Dr. Lisa Law — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:20:21 +0000

A beautifully wise poem by Portia Nelson:

Chapter 1

I walked down the street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless
It isn’t my fault
It takes forever to get out

Chapter 2

I walked down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don’t see it
I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place
But it isn’t my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

Chapter 3

I walked down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it there
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open. I know where I am.
It is my fault
I get out immediately

Chapter 4

I walked down the same street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

Looking at cake can make me healthier?!

Dr. Lisa Law — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 07:37:12 +0000

Apparently so. Contrary to popular belief, the New Scientist reports that images of unhealthy foods instead of resulting in temptation, actually promote healthy eating. Dr Floor Kroese, a Psychologist at Uterecht University in the Netherlands, found that the weight-conscious women in her study who were shown pictures of chocolate cake were more likely to choose to eat healthy snacks than participants who had been shown a neutral image of a flower.

”In moderation” says Psychologist Dr Ayelet Fishbach, originally of Tel Aviv University and now at the University of Chicago, “this positive impact of food temptations will overcome the negative impact – the urge to indulge”.

So perhaps a picture on the fridge door of tempting foods may aid good dieting habits. Kroese warns, however, that whilst highly tempting images can remind people of their eating intentions, weakly attractive images do not have the same impact and may in fact cause the reverse!

Maya Angelou: Sharing Wisdom

Dr. Lisa Law — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 18:25:24 +0000

”I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.”

”There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”

How can I promote emotional well-being?

Dr. Lisa Law — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:10:06 +0000

There are lots of ways in which we can encourage our sense of wellness.

The following is a list, based on an article by The Mental Health Foundation. which summarises some excellent ideas for boosting our emotional well-being and getting the most out of life.

1) “It’s good to talk”

It is important to be able to talk about how you feel with other people so that feelings don’t get ‘bottled up’ inside. By talking to family, friends or a professional we release tension, feel heard and get support.

2) Get active

Lots of research shows that physical activity makes us feel better. The chemicals released through exercise lift our mood, help us concentrate and improve our sleep quality. Generally healthy people should aim to be physically active for at least 30 minutes five times per week. Of course the activity chosen should be something you enjoy!

3) Eat well

A healthy balanced diet has a positive effect on well-being. Try to eat 3 meals a day which include:

lots of different types of fruit and vegetables
wholegrain cereals or bread
nuts and seeds
dairy products
oily fish
plenty of water.

Try to limit alcohol, high-caffeine and sugary drinks.

4) Be social

Being in touch with family and friends, whether it is in person, by phone or online, is important for making us feel grounded and supported. If life circumstances make it difficult to be in touch with others, then try to become involved with a group or a hobby.

5) Take care

Actually taking care of others helps us take care of ourselves. Helping a friend, looking after a pet or doing volunteer work can help boost self-esteem and a sense of well-being.

6) Time out

We all need a break now and again. Whether it’s a 5 minute pause during the day, a long lunch or a holiday, it is vital to relax and replenish. Yoga and meditation are also excellent ways of helping the body and mind relax and of course it is essential to get a good night’s sleep.

7) Do what you like

Spend time investing in something that you enjoy. Hobbies and activities make us feel good about ourselves, de-stress and express ourselves – particularly physical or creative activities.

8 ) I am who I am

Everyone is different. It’s much healthier to accept that you are unique than to wish you were more like someone else. Be proud of who you are. If there are things that you would like to change check out if your expectations are realistic and if they are, work towards change in small steps.

9) Ask for help

Sometimes it’s simply all a bit much. At these times it is essential to seek help from family, friends or professional services.

Aliyah and Identity: ‘The heartache of two homelands’

Dr. Lisa Law — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:42:00 +0000

Perhaps only migrating birds know–
Suspended between earth and sky–
The heartache of two homelands.
—Leah Goldberg, 1970

Leah Goldberg’s poem ‘Pine’ poignantly captures the ambivalent position of many Olim caught between two countries and two identities. For many, negotiation of a more complex, integrated identity that sits between two cultures is realisable. For others, finding a comfortable way to be is more difficult.

Research shows that when we are able to create a multi-faceted identity, which integrates the original and new identities, we are more likely to feel well both mentally and physically (e.g. Berry & Kim[1]). Living in a new culture is always a challenge. It brings with it the exhilarating and the exasperating. Garza-Guerrero[2], says that one of the main difficulties is that the continuity, confirmation, and consistency of our sense of self become threatened. In other words, without the feedback we were used to in our old cultures, we can become less sure of who we are and feel less good about ourselves.

So how can we try to create a healthy, multi-faceted identity? Walsh and Shulman’s research[3]with young Russian immigrants in Israel gives us some interesting ideas. After interviewing each participant twice, with a year interval in between, about their Aliyah experience, they found that immigrants who tried to form a complex identity early on were less comfortable, functioning and satisfied one year later.

What does this mean? Perhaps we can hypothesise that although trying to integrate ambivalence between two cultures is helpful in the long-term, in the short-term it seems to be important to hold on to ambivalence. It seems important to experience the conflict of leaving home and settling into a new culture. As Pianta and colleagues note[4], we need to give ourselves the space to mourn the losses and learn a new reality in order to allow an integrated and coherent story to emerge. Despite the rich and often wonderful culture, heritage and opportunities that Israel offers, each Oleh will have lost: people, language, music, food, cultural norms and so on.

We can probably all think of the days when we have had enough of ‘using our elbows’ or dealing with the humidity; the days when we miss our loved ones, a favourite TV show, or a bar of Dairy Milk. There are also the days when we are relieved we don’t have to bear our own culture’s annoying habits; or we are moved to tears by a national ‘tekes’ or by our bravery for simply doing this. At the start these, often quite dramatic, splits and even shifts between the old or new culture being ‘all good’ or ‘all bad’ are normal, even healthy, according to the research. Then, as time goes on, we can more easily accept that neither our old home nor our new one is perfect. We then somehow find a way to join the culture more fully and re-create ourselves as an Anglo Israeli – or is it an Israeli Anglo?

[1]Berry, J. W., & Kim, U. (1988). Acculturation and mental health. In P. R. Dasen, J. W. Berry, & N. Sartorius (Eds.). Health and cross-cultural psychology: Toward applications (pp. 207–236).Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
[2] Garza-Guerrero, A. C. (1974). Culture shock: It’s mourning and the vicissitudes of identity. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 22, 408–429.
[3] Walsh, S. D. & Shulman, S. (2007) Splits in the Self following Immigration: An Adaptive Defense or a Pathological Reaction? Psychoanalytic Psychology, 24, 2, 355–372
[4]Pianta, R., Marvin, R., Britner, P., & Borowitz, K. (1996). Mothers’ resolution of their children’s diagnosis: Organized patterns of caregiving representations. Infant Mental Health Journal, 17, 239–256.